reaching for the stars

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

@ 7:02 PM

today, i yet again had to do e great walk from orchard side of botanical gardens to the visitors' centre at e bt timah side. tho this time, it din seem that far after all. juz walk a bit and reach there le. went for naturalist course. the sec sch going for a tour at the National Orchid Gardens on 7th sept tell me! i wanna know which sch i'm giving tour for... xD 1 more thing to mug. eeekz. i've half forgotten all e stuff taught to us. muz read thru it again tonite. den tml written test and blah blah blah. tho i muz say orchids look quite beautiful. all e diff hybrids' colours and vibrance realli makes e orchid garden look serenely splendid and romantic. =P couldn't help but to take a few snapshots with my handphone cam. but oh e mosquitoes... i killed 2 and both times, its like suddenly a whole bag of blood burst or stg. PIAK! SPLAT! and my whole leg looks like it got punctured by a bullet. gee. >.<

i did parade commanding yesterday. quite loud larz. i think. no idea, juz shout and do my job. xD wait, i hardly shouted. juz used more strength. ayah, ppl can hear can oredy larz. xD philo was like damn interesting! talking abt emotions. can we and shd we control emotions? wah seh. finally stg i'm veh interested in. hmmm.... i cant control my emotions veh well. the internal feeling always eats into me. but i muz say emotions are quite beautiful. i mean, they add the colour to ur life! tho i muz say i realli love this particular emotion a lot. =D

339 days to go! woah! dammit. i cant wait. but i still hv to. >.<

1mth 19days since we first met! yayy! ((=

he left a mark

Saturday, August 27, 2005

@ 9:16 PM

last nite veh diff to sleep... everytime wanna cough oredy i'd be like "oh no..." den turn to my side, curl up and cough. then the surging pain thru my back. its still the most comfortable out of the uncomfortable positions to be in to cough... argh! y liddat...

do hw, play a lil bit of cs (i installed it again. xD) do hw, revise. den go cousin's hse. xD like so long nvr been there lorz. but now veh diff le. he army i sec3. last time we both young ppl not so much to do and stuff. always play and play and play. i guess now there's too many commitments tying us bahz...

choc buffet in 342 days! but b4 we go for it, u gotta get well first! sleep, drink loadsa water and recover soon yea? ((=

he left a mark

Friday, August 26, 2005

@ 8:49 PM

its over. grade 8 piano is over. its like so abrupt. i wanted it to end like ages ago. now its ended, i'm missing it... y???? the exam was ok la. i din do to e best of my ability, due to all my anxieties and such. but i think can pass la. argh... quite a lathargic day. band meeting and handover meeting and stuff. haiz... my illness is killer. no more fever, but the cough was so intensive it caused me to have a backache! argh. and blocked nose. feel so weak now... goodness...

he left a mark

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

@ 10:44 PM

wah kauz... life's so stressed up no time even to fall sick. got maths test and french controle today. fell ill at history lesson. went to sick bay for 2periods den forced myself into SS class. thinking of youu does help! ((= assignment. den maths test. wah lau. i cant believe i made it thru. den lunch suddenly got worse. so bad i couldnt stand and think properly. like 2kg of lead in my head liddat. so had to skip controle and take cab home. sleep for 3hrs, wake up still feeling like shyt. but thnx to those who encouraged me all e way! gave me e energy to carry on. had a very hot bath den i suddenly felt betta. haiz... wat's life going to sometimes? tests, assignments, pts, deadlines non stop. damn sian sia...

nitez darling! ((=

he left a mark

Monday, August 22, 2005

@ 9:23 PM

b4 i continue my post for today, i'm definately NOT closing down my blog, which is so vibrant and full of exubirance. BENJAMIN LIM, U WATCH OUT TML IN SCHOOL. somebody gonna getta hurt REAL BAD. xD

BQ debrief was good. Mr. Gan realli has done so much for us... wat can i say but thank u!

anyway, today was quite ok larz. i mean, wat else can it be? had first exco meeting for parade orders today. quite a bit of stuff to handle. i'm gonna get a notebook soon for these. so much stuff to do... i'll do it bit by bit bahz. life's real tight. and my sept hols are gone. SANA, 2 day leadership course, phy make up. 4 days gone. sighz. WAT holiday? *looks around*

nvm. there's always something nice to look forward to everyday! other den BB, i've got my relaxing strawberry bath, my 100 gm extra thick dark chocs in fridge, the smses fr a certain number, the countdowns... ((=

348 jours!

1mth 10days!

(i wonder how many more counters i'll hv by end of this yr. xD)

he left a mark

Sunday, August 21, 2005

@ 11:24 PM

phew! another long long day of mugging and worrying... piano was not bad, now gotta concentrate on my scales to get it rite and help my 2nd piece. 1st piece relax a lil bit more and 3rd piece middle be neater. yupp! had lunch kuay chap. yumm! long time nvr eat le. real nice! and dinner was no signboard seafood again. somehow i feel i prefer Long Beach's crabs. the sauce that is. hmm...

juz now came back fr piano, crossing e bridge with e train track underneath. den saw the train coming! i was so excited! havent seen a train crossing for a long long time. when i was young, my ah-mah and i used to always walk to holland v wet market to buy fresh food earli in e morn, den on e way back, she'd buy a packet or 2 of super rings, den we'd sit at the side of the fence below the bridge, and we'd eat, drink and wait for a train to come. then when it came, i'd be so happy! jumping for joy and waving at e long train. now, juz like e train moving away fr me, my childhood and times of innocence have started slipping away, bit by bit, carriage by carriage, till it fades away in the far horizon... haiz...

this wk's gonna be a long long week. 3CCTs, prac exam, first sec3 parade, first band where i take charge. hope all goes well! for me, i'm thinking of other den band meeting, let things pass as per normal first, until all CCTs and stuff over this fri, b4 i fully concentrate on band to improve it further, with all loads off my mind. whee!

oh yea, i'm now totally strawberry! my facial wash is Swiss strawberry flavour, body wash is body wash's stawberry flavour and my shampoo is... u guessed it! strawberry! LOL! strawberry smells good too! so fragrant and sweet! juz like raspberry does. et vous. ((=

he left a mark

Saturday, August 20, 2005

@ 9:15 PM

lol! juz finished handover parade. real tiring day but a GREAT GREAT SUCCESS! u SEC 4s ROCK! =D the squad "talk" to sec4s over lunch din happen coz we were in a real rush for time, but i still managed to give the cards to Longkuan and Isaac. cant believe it... so fast, our batch taking over le... today was like so mixed feelings lorz. happy about taking over, yet sad that yet another senior batch graduate le, and worrying about how to get this year onto a good start.

anyway, the band this yr was beautiful. ok, the final part we screwed up a teeny bit coz we outta breath le but it was still good! and the whole coy oso. so beautiful, e marching. we had so lil practices but still managed such a good performance. GOOD JOB! thank GOD the rain stopped and everything went smoothly in e end! i somehow managed to stay still during e whole parade. i tot i'd fidgit, but i din. was thinking of stg. (= seeing geoff taking e red sash, yeah, i remembered those days where i realli wanted to be it. but i realised that geoff's suited for e pos so much more, he's got e capabilities, while i'm more suited for e band. so yea!!! real happy abt getting BM. and promotion to SGT oso. xD it was veh emotional. so much stuff e sec 4s and Cheeks gave me. that foto, those cards, reminiscing all the times, all the good ole days... cant bear to leave them... but things hv to carry on... to think soon Cheeks will be in NS le... haiz... singspiration was so emotional... luckily i din tear like i did in march camp.

then after tt, the whole coy wanted to throw geoff, jd and i into swimming pool. we carried out all the cleaning up duties, geoff and i went to check up on e classrooms, den rush to astro, thru hall, thru main gate and escaped. XD it was so fun! like refugees or thieves running away and hiding liddat. so fun! shd do it again. ok. i'm nuts. lol! HENG AH, nvr get dunked. heehee! den had to go meet my parents in crystal jade. but they finished dinner le... still got a veh good dinner that they packed for me tho. whee!

okok jie, i'll eat more chocs to raise my BMI back to 21! esp e fullerton buffet! heehee! dunno y i'm underweight. i dun look underweight... or borderly acceptable... hmmm. AQ rox bahz!

350 days!
((=

he left a mark

Thursday, August 18, 2005

@ 10:00 PM

lol! i've "shrunk" to 171cm in the PE height measuring scale. damn weird lorz, i'm measurin 172 at home and tt thing is 2cm short. wth. but i've lost more weight! 59kg now. last time measured was 62. hopefully its loss of fats, and not some weird disease. xD

CLE lesson today was quite meaningful. I've realised tt tho Mrs. Yau yaks a lot, wat she says makes a whole lot of sense. (i think i'm one of e few in class who bothered to listen). wat she says is how my parents hv brought me up and i think tt its realli realli helped mould me in a way. and i reali reali think tt its true dat our school's disciplinary standard has dropped a whole darn lot. I think its due to this simple fact that we students can onli give 100%. we cant give 100% to everything. CCA increasing in weightage, lotsa extra hw, pts, etc etc. its gonna drive home a message tt academics is of utmost impt, which is nt true. and that increase in CCA weightage has to result in a slight academic impt decrease. when everyone everywhere expects 100% outta us, there's bound to be times where we cant perform up to a certain standard. In our school's case, character is the "unlucky" one. i think the sch realli needs to do stg abt this... havent tried speaking to any authority abt it yet...

anyway, sometimes i juz feel tt maybe our parents dun understand us well enuff... its like, i was rushign home for 3rd lang, had to quickly change out and rush off for piano exam. totally out of breath and in a hurry. dad at home. i asked him to please help me close the door. "U NO KEY MEH?!" den i was like -_-", "ok nvm, i'll close myself". den later come back fr piano, "WAT ATTITUDE IS THIS? I DUN NEED REST MEH? I LIE DOWN TO TAKE A BREAK U ASK ME DO THIS DO TT". ALAMAK! he was like taking a break and i'm rushing my arse off to commit to all the stuff. ocme back shag like siao still gotta mug and stuff and get this kinda "welcome home" treatment.... (helps illustrate my above pt of 100% doesn't it) argh...

anyway, piano was good! lauz, see my frens 135/150 for grade 8! darn pro!

First piece: i need to bring in the mood. somehow i'm lacking it
2nd piece: the neatness. i'm still tripping over notes a lil. but mood rox
3rd piece: my forte. wat can i say? xD

and b4 i rush off to do hw, i was watching this 9pm show. this 2 strangers meet. 2 diff characters. start liking each other. the guy's a vengabond. 3rd day, "like" each other so much they made love. next morn, this guy tells e ger "i have to leave to find more inspiration elsewhere, maybe i'll be back. but u'll always be in my heart". ger smiles, says "byebye". i say bullshyt. please la! wth! 3days den like each other. den make love. den go away? and still say u'll come back? wat kinda love is this? alamak...

je vous attendrai, parce que c'est vous. c'est votre sourire qui fait mon jour. c'est votre voix qui rend mes rêves doux. c'est votre contact qui fond mon coeur. c'est vous. sans doute. ((=

352 days!

he left a mark

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

@ 9:36 PM

wah... physics CCT. brain-fried sia... argh! my best subj! gee... wonder how well or how poorly i'll do... somemore mug until like siao. ARGH!!! it realli sux when we put in effort and dun see e results we hoped for.

RE blah blah blah... ayah. dun feel like toking abt it. juz so boring and lathargic... like dragging myself around e whole day. not enuff sleep i guess... and still so much to do... BLEAH... realli cant wait for wk 9 friday. or maybe wk10 monday. clear all PTs, tests, exams etc etc... i'm half asleep le... so is like most of Rafflesians, RI or RGS... all our schedules packed and totally freaked up like siao...

muz pull thru k! juz another wk odd to go. it'll be over soon! muz perservere! think of all good stuff! like... choc buffet in 353 days! and e sept "hols"! mebe some lanning, more relaxed, can sleep more, can chat more! yayy!!! with so much nice stuff, muz pull thru all these teeny weeny tests! ((=

"The Way" -Clay Aiken
There's something 'bout the way you look tonight,
There's something 'bout the way that I can't take my eyes off you.
There's something 'bout the way your lips invite,
Maybe it's the way that I get nervous when your around.
And I want you to be mineand if you need a reason why,

[Chorus:]It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me,
The way that I want you tonight,
It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me,
When I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.

There's something 'bout how you stay on my mind,
There's something 'bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep
Oh girl
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes.
Maybe it's the way that makes me feel to see you smile.
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same.

[Chorus]

I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe,
I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.

[Chorus]

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight.
There's nothing more to say then, I feel it in the way.

he left a mark

Monday, August 15, 2005

@ 9:28 PM

can i re-affirm this piece of info. that i .Horrendously. Hate. Hypocrites. (triple H. XD)

yea.

anyway, yea, i'm chilled. thnx loads u guys! and gers! and mebe gays. (nah)

yuppyupp! bio test over. phew! now for loadsa other stuff to go. wk 9 friday. cant wait i tell u! so freeeeeeee. hopefully. eekz. >.<

argh. y am i so random today? its like... maybe i'm so random today. so many diff stuff happened. argh. *nibbles on choc and listens to firefly*

oh yea, choc buffet is $28+++. Friday and Saturday nitez 8-11pm. woot! trois cent CINQUANTE six jours! got some chocolate fountain there oso! wah... watch ppl in chocolate world? i'd rather INDULGE in the choc, the ambience and the company. yayy! *dances and bounces around in joy* dark, sweet, warm, heart-melting... ooh ... (not tall ah. dun wanna get mixed up. XD)

yupyup! smiley! ((((((((=

he left a mark

Saturday, August 13, 2005

@ 4:46 PM

i'm absolutely DISAPPOINTED. and DISGUSTED. yea. not at every of em. definately not the seniors. but with our batch, some of us. including myself too.

i knew tt stg was gonna go "wrong" after that bang on e head at S.P where i bled. din feel good at all. i was like "WTH". and WTH it is.

2 nites ago, yiquan called me up. usher till 5pm for Founders. it wasnt an order, but a question. i said "yes". so did 9 others. today, we went ushering. at 3pm, we were asked to do another ushering job till 6pm. yea, 6pm is too much. we were told onli 5pm. at 3.40, some of us asked to leave. why? "told my parents needa be back by 5pm. ok, reasonable. CCT on monday (not true for all)" ok. din leave a good image behind for Mr. Tay. not good at all. fine. we could leave. after tt, they were discussing "OH, ushering nth to do wat!" Mr. Tay specifically said there was stg to do later. 1) we agreed on ushering, so nth to do is not acceptable coz we cant expect to be bz every moment of being there. 2) we lied. these 2 words speak for itself 3) we were not obliged. we agreed. Integrity

fine. leave. after changing out, came out. "ayah, take cab to Tekkah Mall la". LAN. so we wanna lie to e officers and we go LAN? 5pm we said to officers. 4pm le. not even enuff time to get there and back. ok. we may not hv lanned in e end, but the main intention was there.

so this is e kind of leadership batch 60th's gonna get for e next yr la. not everyone, but some in core leadership gonna be liddat la. this is e kind of example we gonna set to the juniors and expect them to follow la?

our batch PWNZ? our batch rox? ok, for the fun side it realli does. for leadership? The Boys' Brigade's 2 pillars: Christian Education and DISCIPLINE. wat, we gonna be hypocrites? be like pharisees? tell them this tell them that and we dun do? how we gonna command respect? how we gonna lead? how we expect the company to soar higher? wat have we learnt in Bible Quiz? the main thing was NOT to win. it was to LEARN. Have we? this answers everyone's question. ARE WE READY TO WIN?

i look at my blog name and header today. i feel... upset...

he left a mark

Friday, August 12, 2005

@ 10:53 PM

ok, tt was 1 very emotional post for me. but it was good! can release some linguistic skills in me (i muz say my linguistic skills are definately not on par with the likes of many rafflesians. far fr it.) today was great for me! lotsa stuff settled. meeting with Mrs Khoo for band stuff. so there's a green light for everything we've planned. yayy! and band was good today. managed to achieve quite a bit. and there was this sense of great satisfaction after tt. i'm on my way to mastering "The Castle Walls"! yes! and after getting ben ong to drum for it, it'll be real beautiful! and piano was good too! thnx to God's grace, i've suddenly turned much better. able to keep calm during practices, embrace the music and play out e emotions. definately still much to improve on, but i'm on e right track! good!

onli thing was i din even know there was English CCT today. was like "WTH?!" -_-" but it passed by relatively ok, tho i was realli bent on sleeping... gee... >.<

whee!!! i'm happy! sha la la, its so nice to be happy! sha la la. everybody should be happy! sha la la! whee!!!
changing my blog music back to firefly. now it suits me much betta! listening to it on mrt and i juz change my mp3 settings to "repeat track"! "Firefly come back to me, make my light as bright as day, i'll be looking out for u, tell me dat u're lonely too!" yayy!!!

à trois cent CINQUANTE huit jours! (jie, edited le! *smiles sheepishly) nous nagerions dans des chocolats! yumm!!! =p oh yea, today i tried cadbury's caramellos. they're veh nice! so warm, so sweet, so relaxing and makes me so happy! comme vous! comme toujours. pour toujours. ((=

he left a mark

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Somewhere Out There @ 10:27 PM

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that dream somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishin' on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through (love can see us through)Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true -Somewhere Out There

All i can say is "if only... if only..." this love is so perfect i'll never get it. this love is so beautiful i'm not fit for it. this love is so much of a dream its too much for my reality. why am i so emotional? why am i leaving in a dream of my own? why do i absolutely hate to be knocked back into reality? i always love the calm, windy, serene nights, filled with the air of romance, filled with the fragrance d'amour, filled with e touch of love. but its just but an empty picture in my head. juz but an illusion. the agony, the pain, the grief... i'm just another person waiting. waiting for that day where i can truly find the touch of love, where i can feel it, embrace it, give my all to it... waiting... ='(

sorry jie, i needed to change e song from firefly. this song suits more my emotions now. thanks!

he left a mark

@ 7:27 PM

wow... juz came back from jogging... 4km onli and i'm dead. was like pushing from 2km onwards liao. (wat to do, 2km is at clementi there. wanna walk oso cannot. >.<) but i MADE IT! ok. that's an achievement considering i aint jogged for ages. phew! thnx to my mp3 and most of all to tt something i was thinking of for e whole duration of e jog. yea. tt something. ((=

other den dat, like today i have hardly achieved anything. wth, i fell asleep while mugging chem! 1pm mug...mug.......zzZZZZZ....zZZZZZ...ZZZZZZ....4pm. WTH! 4pm?! sms fr jie : i juz woke up! she slept at 11am and woke up at 4pm (din sleep at all all nite) and i sleep at 12mn, wake up at 11am and still sleep till 4pm? faints! gosh... muz mug more! tonite 9-10pm still got piano studio prac. eeks! CCTs...wth...

dunno y some ppl keep saying i'm wat love expert or wateva la. personally, i dun care. i dun wanna be a love expert or anything. i juz wanna be the one to e ger i love. oui vous. jusque vous. vous seulement. personne d'autre. personne... je t'aime. pour toujours...

he left a mark

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

@ 10:45 PM

national day! wat do i do? wake up, sms, eat, sleep, sms, eat, sleep, sms. XD

NDP was like normal lorz. no diff. the onli thing dat excited me was seeing members of 60th band performing bagpipe. darn. din get to see em! the cameramen like din care abt e bagpipers at all! wth. den e ammo tanks drive pass. THEY DROVE PASS MY HOUSE LATER!!! WOOT! its so damn nice! see the tanks speeding and the sound they make. then e soldiers come out and salute u. WAH SEH! den e bridge linkers. so huge and hunky! the whole procession took 10min to pass by. so kewl! pity i din get any pic... >.<

yeah, and toking to longkuan again. this time about our careers. Imagine me F1 racer, den win my first GP in M'sia! whee! den come back can sponsor 60th win loads of money for all its activities, den soccer matches can support! den longkuan'll be e solo piper at Edinburgh Military Tattoo! den when we meet, i can pipe his pipe and he drive my car. WOOT! imagine... but argh! e closest i can get to racing now is a Subaru Impreza around e national stadium carpark! like wth... -_-"

heehee! à trois cent soixante et un jours! *bounces*

he left a mark

Monday, August 08, 2005

"Every little thing you do" @ 10:58 PM

Hello, let me know if you hear me
Hello, if you want to be me know
And I'll never let you go
Hey love
When you ask what I feel,
I say love
When you ask how I knowI say trust
And if that's not enough

(CHORUS)

It's every little thing you do
That makes me fall in love with you
There isn't a way that I can show you
Ever since I've come to know you
It's every little thing you say
That makes me wanna feel this way
There's not a thing that I can point to'
Cause it's every little thing you do

Don't ask why
Let's just feel what we feel
'Cause sometimes
It's the secret that keeps it alive
But if you need a reason why

Is it your smile or your laugh or your heart?
Does it really matter why I love you?
Anywhere, there's a crowd, u stand out
Can't you see why they can't ignore you
If you wanna know
Why I can't let go
Let me explain to you
That every little dream comes true
With every little thing you do

t's everything,
everything you do
That makes me fall in love with you
It's everything, everything you say
That makes me feel this way

he left a mark

@ 9:33 PM

haha! last nite went real HIGHH! toking to jie again lorz! ((= den after dat got even higher when listening to e bagpipe tunes longkuan lent me e cd for. The castle walls, rebel piper, Steam Train to Mallaig etc... woot! imagining the band doing this tunes while putting up a grand display for next year realli rox!!! so like i went to bed at 1am, but couldn't sleep till 2am. and today could still wake up feeling fine! whee!!!

today's NDP celebrations was quite boring compared to last yr la. e most impressive performance was malay and indian cultural clubs' performances. not bad! but everyone got restless with e videos and such, and yea, kena scolded. I must say I respect Mr. Koh (headmaster) quite a bit. He argues and talks with lots of sense, reason and EMPATHY. i still remember when he had to punish that boy, he scolded us and told us to shut up and help that boy to get back onto the right track and told us "its not a show. Nothing to look at and comment about". If that guy doesnt feel grateful to Mr. Koh, he's got a heart of stone manz.

yupz! anyway, after dat went to BB rm to pipe. wah pipe and pipe, ok la, improving, but still not good. lots to improve on!!! hope my band can get inspired or stg soon. max improved a lot! good job! could teach him "count on me Singapore" oso. den i finished my maths assignment in BB rm, did some sets. quite fruitful! den lunch den go home with Terrence. heehee!!!

den come back, slack around, bathe, on comp. jie! haha! tok and mug and tok and mug till 8pm. look at our display pics! whee! =D den longkuan so nice can! i sent him my firefly (in-line recording), den he had fever, yet i din even ask him and he edited my song until the repeating part was gone, and some recording problems were curbed with copy and paste. so now i've got a perfect Firefly song! THANK YOU! whee! Firefly come back to me, make my night as bright as day, i'll be looking out for u, tell me that you're lonely too! singing rox manz! tho we may not hv good vocals (sometimes hardly at all, if not none), but juz sing manz! dun disrupt others la, juz sing at home, sing ur hearts out! release ur emotions and sing ur hearts out! lalala!!! =D

my dad was observing how my bro was playing with my model cars (those not impt ones la) den told me "eh, next time my sons will be F1 world champs. u take e first 12yrs of glory for McLaren, den he take over u. like Schumacher bros." WOOT! hope it happens! i love F1 and McLaren-Mercedes!

à trois cent, soixante trois jours, deux heures et demie pour la feste de chocolats! Fullerton, J8 haagen-dazs, godiva, guerlian, willy wonka... ((=

he left a mark

Sunday, August 07, 2005

"Chocolate" @ 8:45 PM

Fragile seems
I opened up too quick and all my dreams
Were woken up I slowly
Lost my fire
With every single man a river cried

I had no sensation
Completely numb, left with no satisfaction
I thought no-one could ever get me high again
I swear, I was not looking

Oh, waited so long
I thought the real thing was a fake
I thought it was a tool to break me down
You proved me wrong again

If love were liquid it would drown me
In a placeless place would find me
In a heart shape come around me and then
Melt me slowly down
If love were human it would know me
In a lost space come and show me
Hold me and control me and then
Melt me slowly down
Like chocolate

Tastes so good
My heart's been mended who'd have thought it would
An empty bet and still I won the cash
A man who I love and who
Loves me back

Oh, waited so long
For love to heal me so I'd feel it
Thought it wasn't breathing then you came
You proved me wrong again

If love were liquid it would drown me
In a placeless place would find me
In a heart shape come around me and then
Melt me slowly down
If love were human it would know me
In a lost space come and show me
Hold me and control me and then
Melt me slowly down

Like chocolate come here
Zoom in, catch the smile
There's no doubt it's from you
And I'm addicted to it now

Just one look boy to melt me down
Just one heart here to save me now
Your candy kisses are sweet I know
Hold me tight baby don't let go

Just one look boy to melt me down
Just one heart here to save me now
Your candy kisses are sweet I know
Hold me tight baby don't let go

If love were liquid it would drown me
In a placeless place would find me
In a heart shape come around me and then
Melt me slowly
If love were human it would know me
In a lost space come and show me
Hold me and control me and then
Melt me slowly down
Like chocolate

he left a mark

@ 8:35 PM

today morn went to play piano at studio. wah lau eh... air-con kena sot (basically no air-con). play until sweat like crazy! open windows oso no use. couldnt concentrate after a while... when i came out, i looked like i just took a bath... nvm. the lady kindly offered compensation on wednesday night. 1more hour free. PHEW!

den went to orchard to meet my dad, to meet my family at Raffles Place. had free iced mocha fr coffee bean (hadn't taken breafast yet). YUMM!!! the reason i prefer mocha over latte is coz there's the aroma and sweetness of chocolate! Go starbucks if u want more mocha taste and coffee bean if u love a mix of both!

den went raffles place. shopped like siao with my family, but in e end i only bought some facial wash stuff and gatsby hairgel. (trying it out. hope its betta den L'Oreal) yeah. had this watch called Gushutte or stg, some German brand, displaying e limited edition 40 watches made for Singapore's 40th bdae. so kewl! the one they gave Singapore is a saphirre interface watch with a map of Singapore inside, with matt platinum linings and dark brown leather... woww!!

den went around to sports shops and gift shops. saw this ornament of a pair of lovey dovey crystal dolphins forming a shape of a heart, on a stand. then there's diff colour lights lighting em up... so romantic!!! then there was another one with "LOVE" on a stand. *melts* sheesh, izzit i've never gone shopping for so long???

gee! realised i aint spent time with my family liddat for so long. 'twas fun! tho it din end on such a good note for me coz my dad decided not to go to Mitsubishi showroom to check out e Grandis... nor Subaru for the Legacy. He said "next week or stg. today too late" darn...

oh yea, juz now while napping, i had 2 dreams:
first one: went for chocolate buffet!!! chocs galore! my table was like piled with so many chocs and juz kept eating and eating. YUMM!!!
second one: someting abt accepting Christ before the sun, moon and the Lord. No idea wat it means...

ok. Peeps. or rather, longkuan and jie, TAKE CARE!!! fever 38-39deg liao... enuff to make my parents worry sick and my brains boiled! drink lots of water, drink lots of herbal tea, sleep loads and sleep tight! no F.O.P nvm! still got lotsa other activities to go for! ((=

he left a mark

Saturday, August 06, 2005

"My Love" @ 10:16 PM

An empty street, an empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.
(oh yeah)And all my love, I'm holding on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again... my love.

I try to read, I go to work
I'm laughing with my friends
But I can't stop to keep myself from thinking.
oh no)I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.
(oh yeah)And all my love, I'm holding on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again...

To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from the heart
You're all I'm thinking of

Reaching for the love that seems so far...

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take its there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to
the place I love the most
Where the fields are green, to see you once again... my love.

Say it in a prayer (my sweet love)
Dreams will take it there
the skies are blue (woah yeah), to see you once again my love.
(oh my love)All the seas from coast to coast
Find the place I love the
the fields are green, to see you once again....
My Love.

he left a mark

@ 8:26 PM

today was chao tiring sia! phew! first get challenged mentally (physics make-up lesson), den physically (soccer), den in terms of leadership (exco meeting) and den physically again (bagpipes at annual parade rehearsal.) PHEW!

i guess yea, there's much for me to improve on as a Band Major. as in, not onli the band, but for myself. yea, i've changed a lot for e betta since taking up DYSS 6 last yr, but after thinking thru, yea, there's lots more i can do as a person, esp if i want to command e respect of e others. Not going into greater details, but yea, lotsa changes to be made, and after observing today's annual parade rehearsal, i realise that there's much more i hv to do as BM to correct e foundations and stuff first. =P

my whole body aching like siao le. longkuan couldnt sound e pipe quite a few times coz his drones kept dropping so i had to take a "main piper" role. blow and blow and squeeze and squeeze until final part realli no strength le. silence. argh! i muz master e technique of squeezing. i could do it at final rehearsal. sustained throughout, which was good, but couldnt maintain fingering. lauz. much much much to improve on! seems like we band have to concentrate on many basic stuff first if we wanna fly high! so high that ppl have to pull us down to not let us fly away! *HIGHH!(now that sounds familiar. wonder where i read this sentence b4... hmmm...)

arghz. everyone at F.O.P. i'm at home. gee!!! i wana go F.O.P!!! msn toking to 1 person onli (max, my fellow piper! XD), blogs and tagboards no one update yet, sms no one reply. gee. bored!!! muz take this oppurtunity to do hw. *faints* let me see, a new christmas song? let's try it out.

marching through e turf, with a one drone bagpipe band,
over e turfs we go, piping all e way
Pipes on beats of drums, making drill more fun,
Oh wat fun it is to pipe and march and sing Itchy Fingers tonite, YAYY!

bagpipe sounds, bagpipe sounds, bagpipe all e way
oh wat fun it is to hear the one drone bagpipe band, YAYY!
bagpipes sound, bagpipes sound, bagpipe all e way
oh wat fun it is to hear the chao pro bagpipe band!

A day or two ago, I thought Id take a pipe
And soon Mdm Yvonne Tan was seated by my side;
The band had a way to go, miracles seemed its lot;
It got into a state so pro the others went "WOW" YAYY!

bagpipe sounds, bagpipe sounds, bagpipe all e way
oh wat fun it is to hear the one drone bagpipe band, YAYY!
bagpipes sound, bagpipes sound, bagpipe all e way
oh wat fun it is to hear the chao pro bagpipe band!

Now the doors are open, go it while you're young
Take the pipes tonight, and pipe this piping song;
Just get the reeds and bag, three pro drones for our needs
Hitch them to your projecting mounts and there! we'll sound e pipes YAYY

bagpipe sounds, bagpipe sounds, bagpipe all e wayoh wat fun it is to hear the one drone bagpipe band, YAYY!bagpipes sound, bagpipes sound, bagpipe all e wayoh wat fun it is to hear the chao pro bagpipe band!

this song is dedicated to the most sprited, e bestest band i'll ever join. U GUYS ROCK! ((=

he left a mark

Thursday, August 04, 2005

@ 10:29 PM

Deck the halls with all your worksheets.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be mugging.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our nerd apparel.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Stay at home and stare at worksheets.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
See the blazing notes before us.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Strike the pen and join the riot.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow us in mugging measure.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
While we tell of "mugging pleasure".
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Fast away the old year passes.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Hail the common tests lads and lasses.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Mug we joyous all together.
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Heedless of the wind and weather.
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

I know i'm in christmas mood. well, doest this seem like it? XD

he left a mark

@ 7:59 PM

today was tiring, but a very beautiful day! school was tiring la. sleeping late all these while. and all those sleeping real late oso! longkuan, jappy, jie! sleep earlier hor!!! muz take care! lack of sleep SUX SUX SUX! (tho i hardly practice wat i preach. XD) PE was fun! four rounds warm up. i'm feeling e power of my new aasics! whee! i'm gonna be so totally pro nike and aasics fr now on! rest of e day not worth mentioning, until CLE. buckley's play roxxors! backgruond music maybe can be a lil more proded, coz always end abruptly, but the acting was good! it can pwnz hullett's play last yr. seriously. addresses issues of everyone unable to understand each other and emotions. EMOTIONS. i'm emotional. always manipulating my emotions to push me on. =p i've got so many new stuff to do! can't teachers like halt on e assignments, PTs and case studies so we can mug for tests? lauz... physics CA 96% so far! WOOT! muz keep it up! shiok manz. stg to look forward to from all that slugging out. YeS! wahaha!!!

french was okkk.... ppl coming in late due to AMC and stuff. yea. its after french dat i started getting high. ok. emotionally high. XD dunno y leh. was listening to songs, den like, juz got high? on e mrt, saw lotsa stuff dat was nice! saw ppl giving up their seats to elderly, and cute lil babies! so innocent and ADORABLE! (not cute) XD firefly brought me to a new high! (now tt rhymes) LIFE'S KEWL KEWL KEWL!!! uber kewl! ((= j'aime ma vie! et tous mes amis et tout de ma famille and tout le monde!

oh yea, was toking to geoff abt love and sex. (dun think sick. we're talking abt e emotional aspect). i'm like, wth is so attractive abt sex? i bet those cheekos at Geylang nvr experienced real love! when u trully love someone, u wouldn't think of sex as pleasure. True love is so beautiful, so perfect, so romantic! making love is part of that package ONLY to e one u realli love and a mutual understanding and responsibility. wat bondage, wat porn, wat shyt la. u think of ur love and tell me u dun feel ashamed. eeks! and playboys. WTF. get a love dammit. love is too perfect and and beautiful to be scarred by despicable acts of sex as pleasure... comme j'ai dit, JE SUIS PEACEAU ET FIER DE ÇA!

où es tu, oh la belle de mes rêves? je t'aime, je te veux au bord de moi, avec moi. Cette amour que j'ai, je la réservée pour toi. où es tu? je t'ennuie, je pense de toi journalier, je ne me couche jamais n'avec pas penser de toi, t'appellant ton nom. personne ne sais que je t'aime. tu ne sais pas aussi. mais je t'aime... je t'aime, oh la belle de mes rêves. je t'aime

lotsa ppl falling sick lehz.. geoff, me, jie etc... all stress and stuff. take care loads! dun needa stress ourselves out too much! relax and take a breather! academics aint everything, life is. ((=

he left a mark

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

twelve days of christmas @ 11:53 PM

me: on the first day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (er hem) gave to me, 1 partridge on a pear tree

jie: on the 2nd day of christmas my TRUE LOVE ( ne = pas er hem) gave to me, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge on a pear tree!

me: on e 3rd day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (swoons) gave to me, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree!

jie: on e 4th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (sweetheart!) gave to me, 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree! ((=

me: on e 5th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (* muacks!) gave to me 5 golden rings!(24karat each). 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree!

jie: on the 6th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (yayyyyy!) gave to me 6 geese-a-laying, 5 golden rings!(24karat each). 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree!

me: on e 7th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (i love ya!) gave to me, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24karat each with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree!

jie: on e 8th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (reeeeally?) gave to me, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24karat each with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree! yay!

me: on e 9th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (yup! realli!) gave to me,9 ladies dancin, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24 karat with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree! WHEEEE!!!!!!

jie: on the 10th day of christmas my TRUE LOVE (oh yea je suis contente!) gave to me, 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancin, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24 karat with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree! XDDD yea!

me: on the 11th day of christmas my JIE JIE (yupyup!) gave to me, 11 pipers a piping (MEMEME!!! WOOT!) 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancin, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24 karat with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree!

jie: on the 12th day of christmas my DIDI (le plus plus beau!) gave to me, 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers a piping (YOU YOU YOU yayy!) 10 lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancin, 8 maids-a-milking, 7 swans a swimming, 6 geese a laying, 5 golden ringss! (24 karat with DIAMONDS!) 4 calling birds, 3 french hens, 2 turtle doves and a partridge on a pear tree! *jumps for joy!

haha! jie's msn convo led to us singing this! cant wait for christmas! and maybe sit under e malberry (or malburry) bush! XD soooo FUN! whee! =D

he left a mark

Monday, August 01, 2005

shattered... @ 9:42 PM

i dun feel like blogging abt today. there realli is no point. i dunno y. ppl always say i'm strong. yea. at the gym, i can pull off a few dozen pounds heavier den some frens, yea, i may be physically sound (nearly), but deep within me, real deep within me, i can feel this emptiness. This time, its not spiritual. Its not. i dunno wat it is. its juz this soul-sucking emptiness that realli drains myself. today, the whole day, ppl could see my fatigue. piano lesson. no matter how hard i tried, no matter how much emotion i tried to engulf the piece in, it just wasnt there. i couldnt evoke my emotions. esp e 3rd piece. it was supposed to be calm, warm, relaxing, juz so beautiful and perfect. it was my best piece. my teacher couldnt feel it. she knew it too. the feelings and the warm, sensitive, emotional guy i was was juz... dead. its that something lacking in my life. its that something. i need that something. i think i know, but yet i dun.

i'm confused, i'm scared, i'm tired, i'm drained. i feel so alone, so tiny, so cold. the world seems so perfect around me. everyone's happy, everyone's cheerful, everyone's being loved, everyone juz seems so perfect. but me, this tiny, frightened, miserable guy, who's curled up and being rolled around by the pace of his life, like some lifeless little... marble. i dun wanna use e word ball coz to me, balls are objects of happiness and innocence, those days i yearn to gain back... far fr reality, far fr truth. so beautiful, so happy, so lovely. someone help!!!

why... why me. why now. why!!! i feel like crying, i feel so weak... its juz not me... or is it? i'd so love to break free. to fly away, to the place of which i'd love to be. i juz cant pick myself up. ppl always tell me "get over it!" i can. it'll onli be but juz a temporary facade, an emotional veil... i wanna scream. i wanna shout. i wanna release my emotions! the nite is so peaceful, but it cant hide the rage, the suction, the emptiness. i cant express myself more. i myself dunno wat's wrong. confused. dead. sad. broken down. shattered...

he left a mark