Thursday, December 29, 2005
60th SMURDEPIP: My Bagpipe. Our Band @ 7:42 PM
LOOK!!! wahaha! i finally took fotos of the 3rd prize we won for the Pipes and Drums festival!! woot! i always feel a sense of satisfaction and assurance whenever i see it larh. i guess its a sort of recognition to the efforts our band put in to achieve this. training everyday, even when they went overseas, putting in all they could. i could see us improve day by day, week by week. it took EVERY ONE of our contributions to make this happen, and we DID IT!!! i mean, when i saw this again today at the cupboard, i was so touched! dunno how to explain larh. a band that's been osthrosized (or however u spell it) by a lot of ppl in e sch (even when we were training, i had many ppl asking us to shut up rudely. had to "utilise the gorilla in me" to help fend them off), a band that HQ tot was hopeless, a band that sometimes was disputed whether to close down due to its need for money, came in 3rd, beating bowen and presbytarian high. i nearly cried. i realli nearly did, when the announcement was made... i dunno but i feel this trophy has become our shield against a lot of the above. its like a ward God gave to us. A tool to help the band improve even further in the coming years. i wanna come back to visit 60th 10years later and see our band as one that's world-class. one that's highly reputed and highly sought after. The road hasnt been easy. Terence had to start it up, Shawn had to push to get the fundamentals straight. This has been it man. Guys, Mr. Jimmy Koh, bagpipers, 60th, RI, Mdm Yvonne, Mr Wallace: We have made you proud. Whenever I hold bagpipe 4 in my hand, i feel the sense of warmth. the sense of joy. the feeling that i just wanna play a tune and dance to it. Jimmy Findlater, Itchy Fingers, Rebel Piper, wateva. i love e feeling manz. i simply love it. If everyone feels the same, feel the passion, feel the spirit, feel the love and feel the joy, we can do it. we can overcome anything that comes into our way. any challenge. any obstacle. any shortcoming. We can do it. Let's do it. Just did it.
60th Smurdepip: My Bagpipe, our Band
@ 2:40 PM
hmm... my cbox tagboard seems to be dominated by mel and my tag-board tagboard by sheila. hmm... its like public smsing! xD anyway, juz came back from PSL camp. and my handphone lasted thru the whole camp! 7% batt left. whee!!! =D quite okie larh. and i've decided to be truthful and open abt my life to my close BB frens larh. kean yung, lam, joel all know abt my life these past months liao. guess it realli feels betta to talk to them about it. makes me feel happier larh. reminds me. i talked to val also and she was like "hey, next time God forbid, if anything like this happens, TELL ME K?" and sheila's letters. so touching! and geoff, man my bro. and zach. another bro. and anyi. and mel. etc and etc and etc... damn i've the most beautiful frens in the world. =)))) and my cousins too! hell yea! =))))
goodness. i need to train soon. i havent jogged for ages. i feel my laziness coming back. no. MUST. TRAIN. argh!
randomness. ^^
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Feel the pain, feel the strain, i'm falling... lay your hands on me... @ 10:44 PM
Sometimes life can be a burdenTryna stay one step ahead
I feel the world upon my shoulder each time
I'm standing out on the edge
And my hopes have all deserted me
Like they washed away in the sand
And it's hurting my pride
Tryna survive
But i know i stand a chance
When you lay your hands
Oh yeah
'Coz it's the only thing
I have that still makes sense
(Oh baby, when I'm calling out)
Give me love and affection,
Keep telling me, show me the way.
(Oh, if you see me falling down)
Lift me up from the shadows
Will you take me away to a better place?
(And when I'm in my darkest hour)
You're by my side, to turn the tide,
Until the suffering fades.
When life is getting me down,getting me down, i'm close to defeat,
Come and lay ur hands on me.
Feel this road is getting longer now
And i'm too far away from home
Still I gotta keep on moving on
But I can't do it on my own
Baby keep my head above water
Help me swim for my life
'Coz the game is getting harder
The strain is gettin stronger
And I can only face the fight
When you lay your hands
Oh yeah'
Coz it's the only thing I have that still makes sense
(Oh baby, when I'm calling out)
Give me love and affection,
Keep telling me, show me the way.
(Oh, if you see me falling down)
Lift me up from the shadows
Will you take me away to a better place?
(And when I'm in my darkest hour)
You're by my side, to turn the tide,
Until the suffering fades.
When life is getting me down,getting me down, i'm close to defeat,
Come and lay ur hands on me..
'Til I'm healed again,
Rediscovered my strengths,
Those bitter blues are gone...Oh, gone...
(Oh baby, when I'm calling out)
Give me love and affection,
Keep telling me, show me the way.
(Oh, if you see me falling down)
Lift me up from the shadows
Will you take me away to a better place?
(And when I'm in my darkest hour)
You're by my side, to turn the tide,
Until the suffering fades.
When life is getting me down,getting me down, i'm close to defeat,
Come and lay ur hands on me.
Come and lay your hands on me.
@ 6:06 PM
ok, everyone. DO NOT touch my right hand, esp the shoulder area, or the right part of my back. even soft touches will generate pain. i juz went for another session of ba guan, and this one was WORSE. ur right hand is SCREECHINGLY EXCRUCIATINGLY PAIN, u cry until cannot cry liao, and u vomit a whole lot of phlegm. and u cant scream anymore cos u've already screamed ur heart out and u've got a bad sore throat from all of e screaming. yea. the marks on my body look like 2nd degree burns. will take 1 wk for e thing to fade away, by which my 3rd treatment will arrive. >.< GOODNESS ME...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! yayy! xD
Friday, December 23, 2005
@ 1:38 AM
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woot! our band during e comp! =)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
@ 10:44 PM
i have this weird feeling in me rite now... very numb... its like i'm so tired yet so awake, so stressed yet so hyped up. totally lost too. i remember talking to amanda, my cousin, exactly a wk ago. i told her about me being paranoid, she replied "it runs in our family i guess". i feel so scared of everything. i'm scared i'll flunk academics, i'm scared of going back to school again and facing all the marks, results, competitiveness... i guess i'm kinda feeling insecure. ppl ask me y i'm mugger, finish homework so early. i finished NEARLY everything, but feeling so stressed about completing the final part cos i feel like lazing around, yet dun want anything to happen to my grades or homework. yet there's a part of me who wants stg else. an escape. a form of happiness. a form of comfort. i even have to fight for it. i even hv to worry about it. i sometimes wonder y i even bother abt it when there's so many other ways i can obtain this form of happiness. so many other ways i can get it. i'm looking at my Redox rite now. thinking of the classroom. i'm picturing a white prison. a torture chamber. mental one, not physical. i'm thinking of PSL camp, orientation camp. thinking of next yr's sec1s as some sort of vampires. i'm thinking of my family. yea. i finally decided to tell my dad. some of u know wat i'm talking about. i told him. juz a few sentences. he juz gave a few sentences reply, as tho nth happened. it realli felt very anti-climax. i said e same thing to Mr. Siow and got so much more comfort and re-assurance. y? crap, i'm incoherent and not even bothering to start new paragraphs. juz wanna type and type and type and type. feels good. i can type without looking at the keyboard. i like this. when i'm feeling weird, i like to run. i like to type. i like to do stg related to speed. pure, brainless chionging. go go go and 1km/ 1 paragraph done. at the end, you're panting like half-mad, but looking back, u feel accomplished. its deceit yes. u're trying to use accomplishment fo this jog u've completed as accomplishment for wat u reali wanna achieve. fake. yes. wat a facade. wat the crap manz. Christmas is coming soon and i'm feeling rotten. i dun even feel e mood larh. like wth? its THE time of e year! the time of thanksgiving, the time of joy, the time of family gathering, the time to show appreciation to everyone. so many ppl bothered to write to me, to give me presents. and wat hv i done? nth! nth! i dunno why i'm feeling this way. how come i dun even wanna write to them? are my academic commitments much more impt? cant drill2 wait a while? cant yang-tinggi ka-kanan, rendah ka-kiri, dalam satu barisan, peras wait? y are the hols passing by so fast? tat nite at Changi beach. juz a temporary moment of peace. listening to "Baby Goodbye", feeling the sea-breeze, dazing out the sea, merely glimpsing at the ship-lights far in the horizon, sensing the romantic aura of couples all around me. the others were juz laughing at me lorh. so dazed. zach could even point out my emotional mood cycle. laughs! laughs... i guess u all know me well. i nvr liked to conceal myself. the feeling's juz simply unbearable torture. well... everything abt emotion is. as long as its not happiness, its torture. ok, btw, my Last Christmas is by Savage Garden, not NSYNC, i remembered wrongly. anyway, i'm in no mood for tt. i switched on e comp to do my hw, and revise my drill. oh fong off, u evil wordy creeps. i'm thinking of drill on christmas eve, and for once in a long long time, i dread my full U. i love my full U, juz i like i love... nah, not a good comparison. the level is totally different. anyway, amandus and i sharing our woes now. xD my cousins rock larh. i hear about cousins being cold to each other, and i thank God for my close cousins and frens. u guys rock! =) oh crap, lost my voice. thanks to BBQ stingray last nite. haha! whee! typing typing. typeyt type. haha, amandus juz told me how he screwed up his pri sch outing, where there's this gal he likes. i was liddat too. last time, i would juz do the dumbest things when beside a girl i crush. public speaking helps. gives u confidence. i dun deny i still do stupid things now, but more controlled larh. haish.... i think i better stop typing. its totally incoherent. argh...
@ 8:07 PM
i had to sign in again b4 typing this post... explains e status of my blog updating rite? juz came back from NCO retreat. this yr much more fruitful. i kinda made it my holiday too... like a breakaway. the times at Changi beach, juz relaxing, or talking to Mr. Siow... really made me learn a lot, realise a lot. :p move on... move on... lots of stuff to do tml, sat... etc... hols are ending... wat a joke... i juz want BB. tat's all. that gloomy feeling sets upon as reopening of school creeps up... gotta mug. mug. mug. gargh
Sunday, December 18, 2005
2hrs in hell @ 7:42 PM
wanna know how it feels like? get ur lower back injured, go see a chinese physician who uses ba2 guan4. voila. total torment. he said i was very heaty. so he used ba guan to suck the "heaty poison" outta my body. i muz say its very effective cos i feel much betta. but its freaking pain! i was screaming and shouting like crazy and teared half dead. my face oso red liao. my sis saw me liddat and cried. ran out of e rm... my dad and e doc told me it was normal larh. my dad said he shouted even louder when he was here.. imagine e pain... >.< then he oso put 18 bottles together on my back. the suction was constricting. i could hardly breathe.. now my whole back is filled with marks, red and black. goodness... i dun wanna post e fotos up. my dad took some with my fone. wah... i shd realli eat less of e heaty and sweet stuff. brudders, still telling me i'm health conscious?
Saturday, December 17, 2005
@ 5:14 PM
i was kinda pondering over this. i had this ringtone of mine in this K750i (i bought it on wed) called "After the rain" the lyrics goes"After the rain has gone, u will find faith to love again. After the rain has gone, there will be time to love again"
hmmm... sounds meaningful... its juz stopped raining.
@ 4:26 PM
hmmm... at amandus' hse for 1 wk. so realli havent blogged. and i'm raelli too tired and lazy to blog now... its the hols lorh! and i'm realli supposed to start my hol hw, which i'll start after this post. which ends here? LMAO
Monday, December 12, 2005
@ 3:57 AM
4am in the morning, and i realise my band website is dead. i'm a html noob for nut's sake! hmm... I KNOW! i should start a band BLOG instead. good idea, everyone? (=
Sunday, December 11, 2005
@ 9:18 PM
after 1 hr of thought:today's post is CENSORED.
Summary of today's post: HORRIBLE
Saturday, December 10, 2005
3rd for Pipe And Drums Fest!!! YAYY!!! @ 7:57 PM
loook at my title man! i'm totally HAPPY!!!! WHEE!!! after all the effort we put in, it has realli realli paid off. and of course I really thank God for it! i was praying to keep the band calm and steady throughout the performance, and He really made it so. a great breakthrough for this young band. how better can today get? i realli felt thte joy of piping, and we've realli improved exponentially. i can realli be proud of this band that 60th has produced and i'm glad God put me in it. =) and tml i should be getting my k750i! =Doh ya, i need to say stg about SGB. i reallli met lots of wonderful Singaporeans out there. they buy stuff in the TROLLEYS. like $150 worth of rice, or $400 worth of vouchers, or even ppl who care. juz by coming every other hour to check on our progress, and buying that packet of milo powder, donating that few cents. its realli beautiful. realli a very good experience. i think this yr, i'm realli glad that my 24hours of CIP went to the SGB booths where we realli experienced the beautiful hearts Singaporeans have. =)
Thursday, December 08, 2005
@ 11:05 PM
wah.... so much going on. but juz too tired to blog. my granny noticed i'm very sleepy as of late. nt enuff sleep, not enuff nutrition. i'm saving my arse out juz for a couple more enjoyment times, which are gonna cost BOMBS. *rains C4s, atmoics, neuclears, TNTs, grenades* anyway, i juz realised jean and wanyan are fr same class as anyi, simin and mel. goodness me. luckily they din know that well how to operate my fone. >.< should be gettin my k750i this Sunday so all my smses will be gone anyway. voluntary deletion of memories. =D Aeon Flux was okie larh. but that guy like real emotionless lorh. he spends 7 lifetimes trying to develop some cure for sterility, and when his lab gets bombed (with all his hard work), he juz goes "oh no" and stones. -_-" wah lau, seriously anti-climax sia.been piping everyday in school. i think tml muz pipe less, or sat no stamina. kena ulcer and blister liao. i'm reallli realli praying tt nothing will screw up on sat. i'm realli quite scared my pipe will stop sounding or stg. there'll be audiences watching... >.< MUST. NOT. BE. SCARED. dammit, if onli i had that someone to comfort me rite now. AHHH *(*#*#%&#*%. STOP THINKING ABT HIM/HER/IT. $*(#&%(#&%*#
anyway, tired like crap. shall nt blog more, tho i wld if i had the energy and time. ciaos!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
@ 5:34 PM
WAHAHA! my mum won herself (or me) a new iPod 20GB mp3 player! i've tried it out and it rox more den my neeon! maybe i'll be selling my neeon... hmmm... colour + added sound quality + faster browsing of songs! =D and my mum gave e go ahead for K750i! didnt buy it today cos my mum doesnt wanna go out. next sunday i guess! ^^ too tired to blog. been staying up late these days to play dota with amandus. gotta go do my hw le. cya!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
@ 4:14 PM
its so freaking pissing off when ur parents DONT support you in your CCA. like #*$&( it you're the freaking BM and they tell you "IF ANY CONSENT FORM COMES IN FOR ANY ACTIVITY FOR BAND IN THE HOLIDAYS I'M NOT GONNA SIGN IT" LIKE WTF? i finally asked them "y dun u support me in BB?" and they weaved some crap like "you dont wake up earli enuff on weekends" ????!!!!! how do parents expects teenagers to tell them ANYTHING when they react like tt? would we dare/want to/feel like it? NO that's how i turn to material needs sometimes. to try and fill up the "love" that i've been trying to get. i'm prob one of e onli guys in BB with parents so unsupportive! then i try to get a Samsung D500C. i can go to chinatown sell my freaking lousy N6260 for $270 and get the Samsung for $198 and give the rest of the $72 to my mum. and wat? "HOW U KNOW SAMSUNG IS GOOD? I DUN CARE IF ITS SAMSUNG OR SONY ERICSSON OR NOKIA OR WATEVA CRAP. NO." (is there any totally angry smiley i can use? oh yea, smileys arent supposed to be for any negative reason -_-")TOTALLY PISSED OFF
@ 3:25 AM
wah... dun wanna blog leh... everyday sleep at 2-4am. Either DOTAing with Amandus, getting some freaky rash or juz pure torture whenever i close my eyes... anyway, band is competing next sat... quite pressure seh.... 1wk left and i've got ppl at camp, overseas... and i myself cant pipe that properly yet... >.< ARGH. nvm. today at ice-cube again was fun! coffee club too *ER HEM ER HEM, clay, ER HEM* i realise bailey's is onli nice with the ice cream. i cant drink the thing by itself. muz hv the cookies and cream then i like it. cos the strong liquor smell would be diminished and the sweetness of Bailey's enhances the ice cream's sweetness and aroma.... ahhh... i muz smile more hor ;)