Friday, March 16, 2007
@ 9:01 PM
(this post is R21)
i cant log in to my email, cant log in to my msn, can't access my blogger from my other comp. i cant log in nor sign in to my email and msn with this comp either.
i woke up from my nap, refreshed and wanting to start work. but NO. this 19inch piece of junk has to screw up on me. GOOD. NORTON AND MICROSOFT. GOOD. SCREW UP MY LIFE. YOU GOOD. YOU WIN. HAPPY?!
i'm keeping my nerves calm, trying to find a way to finish my work, trying to find a way to handle, oversee and run BOTH AQ and enrolment service. few ppl are co-operating, few things are getting done, my hw is in the dumps. till now i still havent gotten a single piece of work done. i have half a mind to start turning berserk. i have half a mind to summon the gorilla within me and wreak havoc, the onli thing stopping me is that i'll get 10sec of relief and 2hrs of torment after.
everyone expects the best from me. every aspect of life. i cant make a single mistake. a C5 in chinese, BOOM. a slight mistake in the proposal. BOOM. my holidays? ppl ask me to chill out and relax? screw man screw! i nvr had a holiday since sec1!
technology's laughing at me now. satan prob is too. i'm losing grip of myself... losing grip on everything in life... things are juz starting to get bleaker and bleaker. its juz the first 3 mths. i dunno how i'm gonna survive the next 1.5yrs, if i ever survive...
he left a mark
Monday, March 12, 2007
@ 12:35 AM
Sprained my ankle today. Was on a run from tanah merah to simei. Sighhh… I dunno la, I think li ao is really rite abt me, I’m stupid. I’m spending my whole life chasing after things blindly and not being me. The pressure of the society is so great, and I’m blindy chasing. I can’t be me. I can’t be who I wanna be… why am I exercising so hard, killing my body bit by bit? Why do I care so much abt my Chinese C5? Why can’t I enjoy myself more? Why can’t I relax? Why why why?!
And I can’t blog. I cant access my blog. My frens can. I can’t. wth?
Primer orientation camp was fun, dragon-boating was fun. I wish I were back there.
I go to gatherings bringing my books to mug. Wth?
And I just cant stop thinking of you. Yes I’m thinking of you the whole time. U nvr realized it, and even if u do, it’ll juz bring me pain. PAIN.
Yes pain.
I’m the ONLY casualty for mock AQ. If my knee doesn’t recover in time… I’m gonna pull down the whole open team. Nice tot. nice…
he left a mark
Friday, March 02, 2007
@ 3:39 PM
i think of SO MANY physics qtns when i'm on the mrt... cos now we're studyin newtonian physics... luckily ah boon clarified everything! so he's not so bad after all =D
went to j8 today to take passport foto. passed by a shop. heard the music, smelt the smell of new goods and heard the laughter of ppl. then passed by ntuc. smelt the familiar smell of markets and the joy of shopping in one. i realised...
I MISS SHOPPING!
those kind of days where i'm out with my fren(s) (i usually go out with 1 person onli. like i said months b4 its more personal and feels better. but of cos i go out with frens oso. tt's for going crazy xD) or family, and its a one full day shopping, and its raining outside... ah the atmosphere...
i wanna go shop! i realised how cooped up i've been with work and cca, going home at 8+pm, that going home at 1+pm is a MIRACLE and going to j8 makes me feel... good. omg la...
i'm sensitive to caffeine. drink a lil and cant sleep le, usually. now i down 3-4 cups of coffee and tea and all, and i juz plonk on my bed every nite. says a lot eh?
will be at camp till sunday noon. anything juz sms me! hopefully can use hp =D
he left a mark
