Tuesday, February 28, 2006
@ 6:48 PM
phew... juz finished jogging 4km and doing pull ups and stuff... i muz say my fitness realli has gone down down down... but after doing the run and exercises, i raelli feel very energized!! one word:
爽！its realli a very good incentive to have the pull up bars 2km away from ur hse... =Dok, here's e pt of this blog entry. BB WEEK IS HERE. WE REALLY REALLY NEED THE MONEY FOR OUR COMPANY TO CONTINUE GOING ON... ANYONE CAN DONATE TO ME PLEASE?if we onli raise $18k this yr, we'll already hv spent $4k on pipe equipment, $3k on AQ, minimum $4k on june expedition subsidy, $6k on pipe instructors + enrolment, BQ kayaking all these costs... we'll be spending MORE than we COLLECT. so we raelli need to reach our target of $29k this year. i know i din write this in my letter, but please please please, we raelli realli need funds. PLEASE DONATE TO 60th's BB WEEK!!! thanks!!!!
he left a mark
Friday, February 24, 2006
@ 10:32 PM
sometimes wat u do, unintentionally, can affect others manz. was on e way home then saw this cross junction. this lorry was waiting for the red light on e opp side of the road so he could turn into ghim moh road. then there was this car that slowed down larh, no car nearby and other cars still quite far behind, so the lorry driver, and i, thought red light liao, then he accelerated e lorry, onli to emergency brake cos the car had slowed down for no apparant reason and was continuing. e poor lorry driver had his lorry blocking one lane on e opp side and couldnt reverse. den many cars honked, flash bright lights and pointed middle finger at him lahr. he finally couldnt take it and pointed one back, but i dun blame him. i'd have accelerated e lorry too if i were him.. haish...
oh yea, during philo, Mr. Yip was showing us the bad side to Marxism. Then he showed us cambodia, and told us his story on his visit to Cambodia as an officer of the Ministry Of Foreign Affairs. he said dun judge cambodia by how it looks like. dun laugh at their small contingent every ASEAN games. it aint their fault. They are proud of their rich history, but the reign of Khmer Rouge was too terrible. they tortured and killed whoever SEEMED to oppose them. TWO MILLION PEOPLE DIED. till today, they're still trying to recover from all that they had lost, being 20 or more years behind Singapore in advancements. very sad...
and my pipe's leaking again, as in leaking air. dunno why... haish... i wanna get my own pipe asap. told mdm yvonne to bring catalogue liao. price tag oso. show parents. =p
he left a mark
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
朋友 @ 7:41 PM
朋友：
这些年
一个人
风也过
雨也走
有过泪
有过错
还记得坚持甚麽
真爱过
才会懂
会寂寞
会回首
终有梦
终有你
在心中
朋友一生一起走
那些日子不再有
一句话一辈子
一生情一杯酒
朋友不曾孤单过
一声朋友你会懂
还有伤
还有痛
还要走
还有我
i was on the train home today, feeling very down and tired and stressed and sian. then i played this song. and i nearly teared. nt onli did the song sound extremely touching at this pt of time, the lyrics were so full of meaning. and then i remembered how i talked to my frens, shared with them and walked thru all our hard times TOGETHER.
Juz wanna dedicate this song to u guys out there, who feel dejected, feel sian of life, feel sian of pushing and slogging ur guts out, who feel sometimes so tired, so down. juz listen to this song, and u'll remember the times ur frens were there for u, picked u up, and together walked thru all the hard times. it may not help ur situation, it may not help the fact tt we gotta continue pushing and slogging no matter wat, but at least it'll provide a source of comfort, knowing that no matter wat, ur true frens will always be there for u, that u can always rely on them to be there for u... and push on! =))
he left a mark
Monday, February 20, 2006
@ 7:53 PM
talking to junda now... "finding motivation in life" is so damn true...
to all BB guys reading these, dun take this to heart, i juz find that i realli need a place to vent out... i juz find sometimes tt BB is juz getting no fun... its... monotonous and result-orientated... everything we're doing is for the prestige and honour and JM Fraser Gold and wat not... i can safely say junda geoff and i dun feel joy in doing stuff for BB sometimes nowadays, cos we ourselves dun feel the vibe. i dunno why we slog and slog and slog for BB, but there's not reallli much of a sense of satisfaction, the good ole feeling of BB is gone!
now i'm always questioning why i'm doing so much for BB, why i'm neglecting my work, my personal life sometimes. everytime i see ppl out there having fun, having so much joy, love and wat not, i juz feel so down larh. i mean, after wat i've done, is there realli a meaning? is is, crudely saying, worth my time? the onli joy i find sometimes is piping a few fav tunes with longkuan or mdm yvonne or sth, that's all. i know as a leader, as a BM, i'm not supposed to be saying this, but i think BB is different. its not about having invulnerable, all-mightly leaders, but having empathizing leaders whom ppl can approach larh, after all we're brudders. haish, brudders. sometimes even the bonds dun feel there. and then i feel so dejected... i dunno larh... juz feel very vexed. blardy hell everytime i try to make my frens around me happy cos dun want them to feel like i do, but i realli feel very like... nobody? dunno larh, total sianness...
everytime i'm trying to do sth, to push on, i've to create false fantasies or events tt can make me happy in my head such as to falsely turn on some adrenaline to push that extra bit. i dunno how much more i can tahan. there's been plenty of times i juz feel like telling myself to quit. that there's realli no pt. mon-sat: slogging my guts out for everthing, sun: trying to do hw, but so tired my body juz gives way and revising at most 5hrs, for one whole week's work. rejecting my cousins to go out for dinner, to meet for a while, rejecting my frens to do this, i cant even go attend ex-cons sometimes when i am able to get an excuse to. blardy life... its realli a struggle larh... if i'd been given another chance, i may have chosen my path-life differently. i read zach's blog abt how even holidays choosing how to have fun becomes pressure. dun even talk abt tt, sleeping becomes a sort of pressure too. worry worry worry, then see the time, "OMG" like 1am liao still dun sleep then like shyt muz sleep muz sleep etc... then next morning wake up like wanna die liddat, still drag my feet to school and wat not, receive test papers, receive more assignments and kau.
u know, sometimes i dun wonder why students are turning vulgar and cynical and rebellious nowadays. that's e onli avenue they hv left to vent wateva they hv inside them. and wat we vent is juz e tip of e iceberg. there's so much stress and pressure built up inside us it juz has to leak, and there's no way we can do it. so its e onli way we can vent larh. kau, life sucks manz... and after all this ranting, still got a crap load of work left. its onli wk 7 T1. still got 3 terms 3wks to go... SIAO AHHH!!!! :'(
he left a mark
Saturday, February 18, 2006
@ 11:43 PM
chingay is over... pipin for so many ppl and so many tunes is fun! but i preferred all e tunes longkuan and i played b4 going chingay, and highland cathedral together. i love it! but too lathargic to blog... haish... BAGPIPES ARE FUN! all hail the 苏格兰风笛!!! =D
he left a mark
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
@ 7:21 PM
happy... valentine's day! wah seh... i mean, wth... kena hyped up abt this day for 2wks, den today, juz another plain ole normal dae... -_-" yea... had the same old throbbing headache, but so pain i skipped PE (well i hv mc anyway) and went to sick bay, conked out and nearly was late for bio... ahh rest... xD and blah blah blah abt more lessons, test results, quiz results... blah blah blah... the school bell kena diahorrea today, keep ringing for no reason... and 3rd lang, quite fun lah. i mean, mainly cos mr chan rox and geoff rox too! =D and oopz, sth real embarrassing happened, but nvm.
den going home dat time most sian larh... all alone on e mrt, den i look up and see couples all mushy and hugging and even in 3rd lang, could see many girls and guys with chocs, balloons, flowers yada yada... on e train, made some reflection... on wat had recently happened (since 2nd semester last yr) and stuff. i feel stupid. i cant believe it larh. all those around me, who kept encouraging me, pushing me on, giving me e strength. wat a letdown i was during e hols. and now see larh. haish... >.<
lemme go mug now. SOMETIMES its better to mug and drown urself in work den look back into ur other parts of life and going all crappy again...
he left a mark
Monday, February 13, 2006
@ 9:10 PM
life: Band, BB, HW, sit around talk crap with geoff and laugh and lament over our pathetic puny lil lives.
life: slogging my guts out for... er... for... wat ah?
life: seeing other teens and couples going all romantic and happy on valentine's day, while i'm alone on e mrt and plugged on to "为 我 照 顾 她" on my ipod
life: sleeping at 2am everyday, revolving a tiring, draggy life of cycles.
life: Azkaban
life:
wat life?
he left a mark
Saturday, February 11, 2006
@ 9:06 PM
hayoh... Chingay practice quite killed... total lack of sleep, and stress made me like nearly die during practice and unable to pipe sometimes, coupled with my lip having a ultra big blister... BLEAH... and apparantly 12BR knows busindre reel too... damn pissed off larh... LUCKILY I COMPOSED THE HARMONY FOR BUSINDRE OSO... dammit... i feel very no-standard sia... like wah kau maybe its cos i spent all my time on admin and neglect my practicing? or not enuff time to prac? i feel inferior liao... >.< den in e end ppl always ask me pipe tunes together, i any tune oso dunno... cos i always wanna concentrate on these few tunes, then all nvr memorize and practice... EEKZ....
tonite was fun. Dinner at Fatty Ox... all sorts of food... and ice wine! so phew! bloated now... and with a good sleep, betta chiong my homework liao, b4 i die.... yea... <3 my good frens! =D
he left a mark
Monday, February 06, 2006
COLOURS @ 8:41 PM
No time to blog, so here's my commonwealth essay for you guys to read. xD 27/30 marks. i'm proud of this essay! time to mug!!!
COLOURSAs I wake up each morning, bright gleams of yellow fill our bedrooms. Welcome to another bright sunny day! Opening my curtains, I see lush shades of greenery and a calm horizon of blue blending into the pale, metallic colours of civilization. What more a better sort of day can we ever expect than one ever so vibrant and full of meaning, so colourful?
Colours. Such is their complexity that they’re able to affect our emotions, our feelings, our moods. A child is simply fascinated by them. Setting his hand upon a box of colour pencils simply opens him up to let his innocent and creative mind flow to no end. A stroke of red, a blotch of blue, a tinge of yellow to create that perfect little world of his; his Utopia, his dreams, his hopes, his future. That little red cottage, the smiling pink dinosaur, an ocean filled with colourful fish, or simply a green tree; filled with joy, laughter, happiness. Or that blue drop of rain, that yellow strip of thunder, a boy staring out a dark window; filled with sadness and grief. A person would specially select the colour of his lodgings to suit his characteristics, so suit his feelings. Should he choose a pale shade of peach to express his calm solitude, or deep red to portray his strong passion and emotions? What more can be so wonderfully expressed but with colours?
Colours. Such is their intricacy that each different hue would bring about a different sensation, a different atmosphere altogether. I remember when I was six years old, my parents gave me the freedom to repaint my room in any colour I wanted. I initially chose bright leafy green and a rich shade of yellow. In the spate of events that followed, some mix-up in colours was inevitable and my room ended up with a slightly darker olive green with the same shade of yellow. It was disastrous. A supposedly country-like, serene and natural feeling seemed to have turned gloomy and dark, making me feel very uncomfortable. The feeling’s just like one of entering a car with a caramel leather interior and racing brown interior. As similar as they might seem, the sensitivity of man triggers such a different reaction to them. A photo of my friend and I after a wonderfully memorable day takes one million colours to preserve this memory which I’ll never forget. What more can require so much attention to detail in order to please?
Colours. Such is their exuberance that they are used to celebrate every moment of life, of people, be it fireworks of celebration, flags of ceremony, and lights of life. Walking down the esplanade along New Year’s Eve, I can see the brilliant lights of the city skyline, portraying a warm, lively yet peaceful feeling. Be it the neon blue lights on top of the Esplanade, or the warm orange lights lighting up the Fullerton, the ambience is simply one that creates so much of a zest, so much of a stir in my heart. At the stroke of midnight, powerful burst of fireworks light up the dark blue sky. Strips of blue, green, red and yellow explode into marvelous display in the sky. The effect is simply impactful. When celebrating at processions, performers display their costumes, their accessories, all filled with bright, attractive combinations of colours. Their smiles, dances, laughter seem to bring the colours to life, leaping around with the utmost vigour. At this point, people are brought together, to celebrate together, to be together. What more can bring people together in one united voice, in one united celebration?
Yet, why is it that colour can create such a divide? That it should be the reason, the sole reason of discrimination, of hate, of separation that has lasted for ages around the world? For years, people have been oppressed simply due to their skin colour. They’ve been beaten and tortured, suffering under the hands of people just because the tone of their skin is slightly different. Blacks are suffering under oppression. They have lost their rights: their rights to land, to voting, to defend themselves and even the law. From the times that the Americans brought the Africans over to be their slaves, there has been discrimination and superiority complex, resulting in an inbuilt mindset in many Whites that Blacks are their slaves and ought to be treated like slaves. Since then, even with advancements of technology, of knowledge, of intelligence, this “fact” seems to have remained as it is. Have they conveniently forgotten about human rights? Or is it that they cannot look past the façade of man? Are skin colours so important in judging a person? Is not his character, his personality and capabilities of a much greater importance?
To fight out of the oppression, the Blacks, not only in America, had to go through so much violence, so much pain, so much agony. Family members lost, hope dwindling day by day. The jeering, the mocking, and the pain not only physically, but psychologically… Only through the strong will to fight, staying together and supporting one another did they manage to snatch their dignity back. The toil was long and hard. Through decades, through tons of blood, through gallons of tears they fought. Thousands, if not millions, died. Yet, many people today still suffer under discrimination. Racist jokes, racist ideas and racist people still stand at large today. Have they not learnt? Have they no compassion, love nor respect? Colours become complicated, they become intricate, they become exuberant, all for the wrong reasons. They can be so rich, so stunning, so memorable, bringing joy, bringing peace, bringing excitement. Yet, humans have chosen to paint colour into the wrong context, using colour as an excuse of power, of selfishness, of evil. Here, all the beautiful and rich images in my mind start to fade. Gone is the brightness of yellow, calmness of blue, the lushness of green, the passion of red, replaced with only colours of grey, shadows of black, and the coldness of white. Why are they no longer colours, but each different colour by itself?
As I ponder, the sun starts to set, a duller blue takes over. The green trees seem to have lost all vigour, the buildings just plain cold. Everything seems to have lost its meaning and life. Ah yes, life. That’s what colours are about. They portray our lives. Be it an emotion, a celebration, a feeling or our mentality, colours can portray it all. The colours will always be there. It’s how we want it to be, how we want it to affect us. Brothers and sisters, we are the creators of our own lives, our own future. Do not let colour divide us, let colour unite us. Give each and every one of us an equal chance to live. Let us not be separate colours in the rainbow, but the rainbow itself. Let the fireworks in the sky not be blue, green, yellow, or red, but as a multi-colour, beautiful display. Let us not be Blacks or Whites, but people. Let’s not be black, green, yellow, red, blue or white. Let’s be together as colours.
he left a mark
Sunday, February 05, 2006
@ 10:19 PM
STRESS AHHHHH...........
he left a mark
