Monday, October 10, 2005
@ 5:01 PM
argh... i'm losing it... i'm failing in nearly every aspect of life... i dunno if i'm failing ppl's expectations of me, or my own expectations, but i'm failing it... losing grip like cars on a wet day, losing confidence like a deflated balloon, losing focus like a guy without specs... maybe life as just a mugger was good after all. ignorance is bliss? i guess so... i want everything to end. all the responsibilities, juz to scrape outta my life for a few days. i seem to be living my life for the happiness of others. so much so my happiness depends on them. academics get scholarship, parents happy, i happy. band and 60th get good results, company happy, i happy. hang out with peeps, they happy, i happy... cant someone make me happy for once? when i got back my physics assessment component results, i was nearly crying. den i tot, y am i? coz my grades were lowered, meaning i may not get Hakka scholarship for my parents. $400. i feel like a puppet at times. i long for the times i'm released fr sch. that lil freedom feeling. wat's happening... i'm a boy, yet so weak inside... wat's my prob...
he left a mark
