Thursday, January 26, 2006
@ 11:00 PM
je veux blogger en Français, i wanna blog in french. i wanna SHOUT OUT LOUD. yupp, lorenzo's oil, i not stupid too, all teaching me lots of lessons... but i feel so tired, so crapped up. 2.30am, 12.30am, 1.30am... i mean like, wat kind of life do i hv man? it consists of BB, band and schooolwork onli. ppl tell me i'm overworked, too bz for my age. not like i dun wanna live a life that's half partying half socializing rite... i dun like having splitting headaches b4 tests, craving for that extra bit of sleep, stressing myself out with ESSAYS ESSAYS AND MORE ESSAYS. history essay, french essay, english essay, chinese essay. dammit! yo bro, think life in a top school is easy, all abt showing off that damned badge i have and telling ppl how kewl it is to be in top schools and get praised? forgeddit man. wanna try to get a gf? forgeddit (no time, no luck) wanna go out for a movie? (yea 1 movie. and half e time i'm thinking of how to do my hw over CHINESE NEW YEAR) wanna have fun? sure! i realli hv fun with words and analysis and homework. oh
how fun!!! wah lau eh! i nearly broke down during french lesson larh. and i havent even started practicing for Chingay yet. and i'm asking all my band members to be prepared. like wtf? i'm so hypocrite? so crazy! so much to do! u ask me how to sleep more, how to take rbeak, how to relax?! jihong larh. bloody hell. . we need to learn how to balance our lives, we need to BREAKS, we need HEALTH BOOSTERS. I NEED A F-ING LIFE DAMMIT. jihong dun come and kau bei me now i tell u. i tell u now how i explode. u provoke me. i smile at u. i show signs of irritation by my speech. u push it further. i cant control, i WONT control. yes, i'm toned down, i no longer get all that emo and violent. but still, i have emotions. FONG the education larh! fong my life larh! screw it! screw up screw down screw left screw right screw in screw out screw the world! i think its the admin part of school larh. i mean, i could see mr. kwa also feeling all stressed up. we were like complaining to each other lahr. its totally CRAP... and dammit its onli wk4 larh. more things to come after CNY. and i'm feeling this way liao. can i still take it? can i stlil hold on? feeling very vexed, feeling very sian, feeling very fed up with life. wat's the point of being in a top school? wat's the point of taking all the subjects, trying to achieve GPA 4, trying to know everything everywhere, trying to find love, trying to improve on my character? I WANNA BE ME. ME. THE REAL YONG YONG QIAN. 杨永谦。Life's a struggle, i juz nvr imagined it to be a torture chamber....
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