Wednesday, May 02, 2007
@ 9:14 PM
i dunno if i spent enuff time studying anot. i feel so accomplished, yet so... like er... stone? like i did nth liddat? ohwellz
today onli had 2 periods. chionged PW like mad to set things straight. i had 5 hrs, did a wee bit of phy, slept, slacked, etc. ohwell. muz smile! ppl ask me take a break. i super tired la.
been going thru lots of battles these few weeks. and the fact that i'm lazy doesnt help things. i'm feeling torn cos i ned to do work, but when i do work i always cant get this cant get tt. i've to face the fact that i'm onli here cos of some sheer luck and some hard work. but i dunno whether i'm working hard when i always can onli solve a few meagre qtns in a few hrs per time. and somehow here i feel as tho i cant ask anybody for help. i dunno.
sometimes i feel as tho rjc life is so fun, so vibrant. yet i know its onli cos of a few small factors. once these are removed, i'm gone. trying to branch out my life, but its very difficult, esp when i alrdy have these few deep main roots planted in them. and tt's why
i always beg of them not to leave my life. ohwell... these few weeks have been hard, but so has the past year plus. battle after battle, emotional beating after emotional beating, painful decision after painful decision. and i juz gotta stride on. (read the below post on my colourgenics thing) i cant give up, i cant back down, i can onli move forward. Onli God can always be there for me, yet sometimes i dont seek His help... wah biang
today exco result after exco result revealed. haha many of my frens have assumed various positions. congrats to them. for me... after 4yrs in the battlefield, it realli feels weird not being part of it. realli feels left out.
i feel like i'm treading super dangerous ground. PMEF (onli guy in RJC doing this combi), BB as my onli cca. and my friendship and all built upon very few ppl (i can count with my right hand). my onli prayer here is they'll nvr leave me. u know how much i depend on u guys. i tink u who read will know who u are la huh.
i better start reading PDL. been lagging like mad!eekz
i think i'm in deep shit. seriously. i landed myself in it. will see come end may if i realli do. sigh...
wat was it abt this blog supposedly having a makeover to be a happy one?
c'est un choix très difficile. comme aujourd'hui, même si je sais la verité, ou je pense que c'est la verité, c'est encore très difficile d'accepter ce qui c'est passé. je suis très fatigué, mais je sais aussi que je peux pas faillir. c'est ma obligation et il faut que je reussi. JE DOIS ETRE FORT! garghhhh
pourquoi? pourquoi? pourquoi pas?
set me free... someone set me free...
he left a mark
